I'm armed (with PMS) and I'm not afraid to use it. I felt that pang of anger rear it's head yesterday... followed by a full blown hissy fit later on. Yeppers, it's that time again. Time to ride that beast until she bleeds. It seems as though they've been more frequent lately. Before it was every other month and even then I might get away with just being weepy. Now I can't seem to miss a month without some sort of emotional episode that leaves scarring and bruises.

Luckily I have the day off tomorrow. I've been dodging my coworker all day. That last thing I need is to unleash this baby on her. Team work? Yeah, that'd be right out the window. I plan on trying to stay low key this weekend. It's better for everyone... trust me.

So what's up with the comment spamming? It's stupid. It's on a personal blog. It's... really annoying. I'm not going to click your link and I'm going to delete your comment pretty quickly. So how about you and I come to an agreement and you move on to some place that will actually make you money. You know.. like an actual job. Moron.

I think the one thing I am sick of (personally) is always being on the verge of being sick. That feeling that one night without enough sleep, one day not eating all the right foods or one person with a cold will put me out for a week. My immune system sucks. I get it. No matter what I do it's just not good enough to get past this feeling of 'eh'. Last night it was the queasy stomach. Today it's the never ending potassium level. Part of it is that I need to get my ass back on the exercise routine that made me start to feel better. Thirty minutes a day. It doesn't seem that much until you try to do it. Jake's been exercising and looks great. He's dropping the weight and finally forming the build that he's been wanting. Me? Notsomuch. Illness after illness after illness has made exercise the lowest priority. Now that I am finally on the verge of feeling better I need to seize the moment and get my butt into gear. I love my little pep talks to myself. I'm a great cheerleader... just sucky player.

Growing up can always be so tough. People who were heroes become flawed, television memories destroyed by 'updated' versions and snacks you begged for now taste like chalk. Old, in the sun for one hundred days straight and dipped in gutter water chalk. Two celebrities, both tainted with time and gossip, leave their mortal coils and sail on to distant waters. Both take with them the drama and leave behind the memories that made me smile.

Farrah Fawcett and her teeth. While she wasn't my favorite Angel (Jaclyn Smith carried that title), her hair was awesome. I remember when the first girl tried getting that flip curl in Junior High. It was awful. Her hair was way too curly and short. She even tried to get the color right. No 13 year old should walk around with highlights like that. I remember the hot pants that they all wore on Charlie's Angels. I dreamed of a closet full of them.

Michael Jackson and his squeal. That mesmerizing dance that everyone wanted to do. His smile. *sigh* As a child I had the biggest crush on him. I remember singing Ben whenever I could. I still have a few Jackson Five albums. The songs were simple, fun and easy to sing along to. I watched the Jackson Five cartoons and thought Off the Wall was the greatest album. Even when he started to change I felt the need to defend him. His life was filled with chaos. Locked away from the world because of a talent everyone loved and yet kicked whenever he tried to be out. I can only pray that his children are whisked away and find a normal life somewhere that their father could only dream of.

I don't want to hear the jokes. Really. You see celebrities that you can mock and make fun of. I see two people who lived their lives in the shadows of society because they wanted to perform. I see two people who died. A father. A mother. A sister. A brother. A loved one. A friend. Remember that while you're smirking about some joke you thought was clever.

To my dear friends: No offense, really. I am just tired of all the random requests to join something I have no interest in. I get them from sites I really enjoy and it's getting on my nerves. I've blocked the application. I've blocked the random people asking me to join. It's just... dude. It's an application. A game. *sigh*

The worst thing that Facebook (and now Twitter) could have done is allow the status to be manipulated to show causes/games/applications. I get embarrassed when Raptr posts too many of my updates. To have something post every movement is just ridiculous. I use these sites to keep in touch with friends, chat and occasionally meet new ones. I DON'T use them to announce that I've bit someone's neck, took a hit out on another person's status or dug a garden for my imaginary farm. I don't announce that I've saved a tree, supported a cause (except once... and that was by accident) or even made a vote. While you may be assaulted with descriptions of my phlegm, my emotional status during PMS or what XBox 360 game I beat (WOLVERINE FTW!), I draw the line at using my status to tell you about something so obscure that you will have to join it to understand it. Except PMS. I don't expect any of my male friends to understand it. Fear it? Yes. Understand it? That's what chocolate and roses are for.

I love when people call, hear me cough/talk and say, "Oh my! You sound terrible!" This is as I'm getting better. I can't even imagine what they'd be saying if they heard me last week. A eulogy maybe? I dunno. Also, being sick means blowing your nose etiquette goes right out the window. Screw going to the bathroom or doing dainty noises. I sound like a sewage line being unclogged... and feel like it. It's loud, full of snot and if my coworker doesn't like it she can go file something. I'm tired and really would love to be home. Alas... the sick time won't allow that. I look forward to the time when I am healthy and have hundreds of hours of sick time on the books. Right now it's vacation time. I feel too guilty asking for time off after being sick. Damn Jewish guilt gets me every time.

I'm back at work, but not because I'm better. I'm just not quite as miserable. I also don't sound like a man... so that's a start.

This weekend I managed to finally finish a few games, which I am quite proud of. The 100% is something I've been striving for. Wolverine is still kicking my ass, but I'm getting a little closer. That Deadpool fight is either going to be the end all be all achievement when I get it or the one that will send the controller through the window.

Dear head cold from hell... I think we need to break up. No no... it's not me... it's YOU. I just don't think we're meant for each other. The temperature and scratchy throat was enticing at first. Sick enough to be home and yet healthy enough to be able to play on the XBox 360 all day. The first two days was fun. Then the horrendous cough set in and endless mucus. I... I just didn't think you were into that. Now I'm back at work and even more ill feeling and something's got to give. Call me selfish, but I'm just not that in to you. Oh don't worry. I'm sure you'll find some hot little hypochondriac who is just dying to have you. Seriously... you need to go. NOW.

Jake was talking about some thread on a forum he posts on that discussed emails which went out to loved ones in the event of a plane crash, etc... It reminded me of when I was young. My dad would put a dollar in the life insurance machines at the air port when traveling. They would send a copy to the people listed in it. I opened the mail to see something about death, plane crash and money. I can't even remember what it said. All I remember is having a complete fit over the phone to dad about it. We're talking tears, crying and 'please don't die' comments. Yes, I was quite an emotional child. Dad never did that again. It's funny how something random would bring up a memory from so long ago. Ironically a lot of my memories involve me pitching a complete fit about something and dad 'coming to the rescue'. *looks at Jake* Not a word....

I've decided to get my hair cut again. I let it grow for a little bit to see if I could find another style to try out. So far nothing. I like the short hairstyle but the upkeep is expensive. I'm not about to go slumming it at Super Cuts. I might as well give some scissors to one of my nieces and tell them to have at it. They'd probably do a better job.

Jake has been fighting a losing battle with a head cold lately. He's so good at eating healthy that it's got to be something really bad to knock him off his feet. That makes me nervous. If it did that to him I can only imagine how I'm going to react. Needless to say I've been trying to stay away from him. We've got so many things planned this weekend I am hoping he's able to kick it by then. *sigh*

Work has managed to pick up some speed, which is nice. Yesterday I had yet another issue with the new gal. I was talking to her about a case and she decided to jump in and start making calls. Never mind that I had it completely under control. She dials the guy's number before I can say stop and I pitched a major fit. Then she hands the phone to me. After a brief conversation I attempted to tell her that I was in control of the situation and was not in need of any help. She announces it's her job. I shoot back with something along the lines of "Nuh Uh!" but more professional-like. I also added that we're equal job level wise. She snaps at me that 'She doesn't think so. She's over me'. Instead of flipping out verbally (facial expression-wise I was beyond that) I emailed a friend who is over her for advice. Instead of responding to me I am assuming she sent her an email directly. I get back from a break only to hear her say, "I owe you an apology." I responded with a chipper, "Oh really?" only to hear her explain that an email magically arrived from a meeting she had a week ago that clarified she and I were equal. We both have separate duties and ne'er the two shall meet... unless she needs help or visa versa. I wanted to do an "IN YOUR FACE" dance, complete with pointing and a really loud manly yell. Instead I smiled and said that I was glad THAT was cleared up and she added that now we could get back to doing work. I feel bad for her to a point. She was thrown into a position that she didn't want with next to no real explanation of what her duties were. She said that the fifteen minute conversation she had with our boss the day she arrived was the most she had heard. She also complained that she was never given a job description. I agreed that it was a shitty situation all around but that I was very comfortable working with her (youseewhatIdidthere?) and that we were going to work very well together. Then I lowered my head below the monitor screen and snickered quietly to myself.

The saga continues. Yesterday I called the stupid pharmacy at 3pm to make sure they had my meds ready. At first the girl gives me a firm "No" and starts to end the call. I yelled "WAIT" and told her my doctor's office confirmed that they had called it in. She sounds annoyed and puts me on hold to check. A few minutes later she comes back to tell me it's there. At least she sounded a tad more pleasant when she told me. It's funny how being caught in a lie does that.. That night we drive to the store and Jake runs in to get the meds. Fifteen minutes later they tell him it won't be ready until tomorrow because they don't have the right dosage. WTF!?! After pitching a fit (to Jake on his cell) he left. We get home to a message from the pharmacy saying there was a problem and the meds wouldn't be ready. This was at TWO pm. Ironically it was also the same chick that answered the phone when I called an hour later. I am so sick of this place. The other pharmacy is a little farther but I think I'm going to try them out. Anything is better than this place. The drug dealer on the street corner would give me better service.

...my pharmacy will hear me. Stupid morons. So of course I'm getting sick again. This time I had my doctor call in some Potassium so I didn't have to go to the ER. AGAIN. Because my pharmacy (which used to be awesome and now sucks donkey balls) is so shitty I called to make sure it was on order. Silly me... calling during lunch. The first time they answered they asked to put me on hold. No problem. Then they just kept clicking the hold button whenever the phone switched back. After twenty minutes a guy picks up in what sounds like the testing grounds for airplane engines and tells me that the drumsticks are on back order. Pity... but not my problem. After yelling into the phone that I wasn't calling about the drumsticks (right as doctors walked by... classic) he put me on hold again. After a few minutes I hung up and tried calling back.They hung up on me. The next time they just switched me to hold. No hello, no 'hold please'. I waited. Finally a woman answers and I ask if my meds have been ordered. Nope. Greeeaaat. next message is to my doctor's assistant. *sigh* All this to take something that makes me puke. *grumbles*

I won my very first challenge with the XBox 360. I busted my ass to do it, too. Jake was wonderful in letting me completely take over the console to do it. I really didn't think I had a chance, either. There were a few games that made me absolutely crazy. Kameo's Deep Blue element is like the seventh ring of hell. The mechanics are horrible with it and Jake and I were both wanting to through the controller out of the window. At least it wasn't just me. Apparently that section makes everyone angry. Really REALLY angry. Then there's King Kong. I have mixed feelings about that one. It is a First Person Shooter, which is something I hadn't really tried. I did an okayish job on it, but I'm still not sold on that type of game. The surprise hit for me was Kung Fu Panda. If you haven't gotten it you're missing out on a really fun game. I got the game as a package deal with the console and never tried it out. After playing a few games and getting frustrated I popped it in. I'm hooked!

I think winning this challenge was a HUGE boost to my confidence. I have been feeling as though I'm never going to get any better. Then Jake and I played our first game together last night (Peggle rocks my socks) which meant so much to me. I've been wanting to play a game with him for so long. We had an absolute blast. I'd say that even if I didn't win. Which I did. *grin*

The meeting ended up going very well, despite my new coworker trying to make it seem as if she had to convince me to be a team player. The fact that she repeated the same thing over five times made it even less likely that they would believe her. I explained my side and my boss actually gave a sigh of relief. It was a miscommunication and she agreed that it was a grey area. W000! The rest of the meeting centered on Ms. Bossy (my coworker's new nickname) and her duties. She would try to offer me up and they would explain that they are discussing HER duties and that mine are set. I was tickled pink. She did throw in that I didn't seem that busy, which I wanted to slap the shit out of her for. It's really none of her business WHAT I am doing. Then she mentioned me helping with part of her work and I tossed it back at her (politely). She needs to understand that our jobs are different and while they compliment each other I am not her bitch.

Earlier in the day Ms. Bossy told me that she was basically told she HAD to take the position. Ouch. They offered it up, she said no. They said wrong answer. She went from being a supervisor to a party of one. No wonder she was so gung-ho about telling me what to do. The next step is to walk carefully around her. No chit chat, no discussion about the job. *puts on face paint* It's war, baby. Okay, maybe not. But still... *puckers lips* I needed to freshen up.

The question is: what's happening with my job? After a HORRIBLE day yesterday in which the new coworker got my boss involved and made me sound like I was obstructive (not even asking me the details) I called my boss to find out what the hell is happening. The new gal said my job is changing, the protocols are changing and that she was in meetings pertaining to this. I was less than thrilled. My boss assured me it was simply a clarification but then said we HAVE to make this work. Personally I have no problem with working with her. My issue is that she seems to know more about what's happening with my job than I do. At first my boss was going to meet with us on Thursday. She emailed today to say it would be at 4pm. Luckily the new gal and I had talked for a while and hammered out some details. She emailed our boss to let her know all is well and that I was on board with the team. I was slightly miffed at that since I didn't think I was ever OFF board, but whatever. I think today will be important for two reasons. First it will clarify what is changing and what they'd like me to do. Secondly I will see if the new gal tries to make it sound as if she's the reason things are better and not that she totally missed my point and asked for clarification elsewhere without even letting me know. Even our boss said that she should have CCd me. yeah, thanks for that. I'm hoping the meeting will be positive and I'll walk away with my job. Beyond that... I can't wait for the weekend.